I’ve heard women complain about getting an inbox full of message that say simply “hey baby” or something otherwise short and useless, but I would argue that it’s more frustrating to send off message after message, and get no reply. I’ve had a few of those “hey baby” message myself, and they’re really not that big a deal.

Maybe the solution is a website to force users to write messages of certain length, as Joel mentioned, but _also_ to prevent users from using the site until they answer a certain percentage of their inbox. I know some sites use a “Thanks, but no thanks” button, and I don’t know why they all don’t use this.

Facebook proved to be an instrument of my obsession. I would visit her profile all the time, probably daily or better. I would read between the lines in all her posts and comments to see if she mentioned me. I’d follow the links she posted, watch the videos, read the articles, and even read the books she recommended! It was pretty bad.

Eventually, this obsession became my own undoing. After more than a year of being friends, and spending time together — or as I call it, a “dry courtship” — I felt that she had no interest me. My fears were confirmed when her update appeared, proudly displaying that she is now “in a relationship.” Oddly, many of her old friends were shocked at this, as she is a very secretive gal and apparently hadn’t told them anything, online or otherwise. Even though I had already conceded I’d never be her fella, it was devastating to see those words scrolled across my screen.

She moved to Boston and we don’t really talk any more. We’re still friends on Facebook, but I hardly take notice. A sad story. The lesson learned: don’t become Facebook friends with any _potential_ romantic partners until said romance actually materialises. Too much temptation to snoop. Too easy to obsess.

I would be interested to your experiences overall with online dating. If you have numbers, that’s even better. I’m especially curious to hear about how things work from the ladies’ perspective, where their role is mainly in defending themselves from creepy suiters, rather than trying to craft that razor-sharp message that gets a response.

Lately I find that even if I spend a fair few minutes writing a message — referencing her profile, asking questions, using subtle flattery, and quips of humour and wit — there is no guarantee of a reply. Sometimes I think even Ralph Waldo Emerson would be a victim of the numbers game. By my estimation, it’s about 25/4/1 meaning if you send 25 messages, you’ll get 4 replies, and maybe one in-person date.

Ok, this is getting long so I’ll wrap up for now. Can’t wait for the next episode. Take care,

A deal-breaker for me is if the girl didn’t finish University. Not so much that they “need” a certain degree qualification, but in my eyes, those who drop out of school lack a certain focus on commitment and the dedication to academic and intellectual things.

Although I have been known to drop a few curse words in my everyday speech, women who talk like sailors are deal breakers for me. It’s hard to explain, but this is a subtle art, and one that’s generally better suited to men.

Another deal-breaker is girls who talk like little girls and play that whole princess routine, especially when talking about difficult their life is. “I can’t believe I have to pay rent. That leaves me hardly any money for shopping!” You can picture it. Absolute turn-off. This ties in the general personality I am attracted to, which has a certain working-class practicality to it.

I hate to keep listing these, but I’m really, really turned off by women who eat McDonald’s or other fast food. Not exactly a deal breaker, but my opinion of a person drops through the floor when I hear them lusting over some crappy junk food.

I’ll leave you with those for now.

(Maybe this is why I’m single.)

We don’t have a My Space page, and likely never will.